Quintessentially J

i guess my problem is, i thought i would give a damn. instead, i am not doing all the necessary...

Sat, 11 May 2013 03:43:34 -0400

i guess my problem is, i thought i would give a damn.

instead, i am not doing all the necessary steps to pursue my dreams.

did i lose my drive when i was idle for an entire year in cambridge? why wasn’t i the me when i took 21 full course load and still do a 20-hour part time job?

how can i give meaning to the thing i do now.

and in this job, i’m really tired is never a reason nor explanation; sleeping one or two few...

Sat, 11 May 2013 03:27:50 -0400

and in this job, i’m really tired is never a reason nor explanation; sleeping one or two few hours more is a sin and crime, something to be ashamed of, although it is quite impossible to trick your body to feel otherwise

it means nothing to no one, and protesting that you are tired simply means you are weak, even worst, irresponsible.

and making a mistake means you are a terrible person, worthless as crap.

I don’t think any job should make one feel like this, but quoting one of the most used cliché in banking: it is what it is.

days when even white flag is impossible trapped in a nightmare where you can’t wake up - and...

Sat, 11 May 2013 03:21:35 -0400

days when even white flag is impossible

trapped in a nightmare where you can’t wake up - and when nightmare is reality

when there is no stop button

when you feel so alive but dead inside - - and to borrow Sylvia Plath’s words:

But when it came right down to it, the skin of my wrist looked so white and defenseless that I couldn’t do it. It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn’t in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb, but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get

bring me there

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 11:58:21 -0400

bring me there

Photo

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 01:31:48 -0400

Photo

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 01:31:36 -0400

ivoury: s-implyclassy: http://instagram.com/steeph_s how the...

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 01:30:34 -0400

ivoury:

s-implyclassy:

http://instagram.com/steeph_s

how the fuck

so pretty

Photo

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 01:29:57 -0400

stunning

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 01:24:10 -0400

stunning

Photo

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 01:23:45 -0400

edible?

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 01:23:22 -0400

edible?

something that i need to do, slowly, but surely

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 01:20:26 -0400

something that i need to do, slowly, but surely

Photo

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 01:19:42 -0400

lovely idea

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 00:17:03 -0400

lovely idea

quaint, i like :)

Sun, 14 Apr 2013 00:16:52 -0400

quaint, i like :)

thefullerview: (via g a r d e n s / .)

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 13:16:45 -0400

thefullerview:

(via g a r d e n s / .)

love it

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 13:16:25 -0400

love it

i remember creating a photo album “your life has just begun” when i started work maybe...

Sat, 13 Apr 2013 13:14:00 -0400

i remember creating a photo album “your life has just begun” when i started work

maybe it was some wishful thinking on my part when i name it that way

maybe it was some sort of encouragement to myself

but to be honest -

i can never shake the feeling that my life ended in every possible way when i toiled in IFC 2 late at nights and over the weekends

and frankly, how many photos can i even put in that album? and some of them are even those in new york, before my life ended.

too much pride, too little guts.

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 12:31:19 -0400

too much pride, too little guts.

so one day all these will pass good times will come the right one will fall into place.

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 12:16:21 -0400

so one day

all these will pass

good times will come

the right one will fall into place.